A few quotes

I've been nonexistent again, I know. It's the mental fog. I think that it's finally starting to lift, though, and for that I am very thankful.

But for now, I just wanted to post a few quotes that I don't want to lose:

"If the road to knowledge leads us away, it will also bring us back home. And that is invaluable." --Finn

"Tem asked me what I though the flame of the candle on my altar was doing. I responded that it was burning away the candle. No, he said, it is burning to burn. The candle is but the flame’s lifespan. Creation, likewise, exists to create, to be. Time is but the candle of creation’s flame. Creation itself is the purpose, creation is sacred. You create. You further creation. You are valued by us for you contribute to the community of creation." --Lykaios

And, of course, I had more and I can't find them. *sigh*

Oh! I've joined Covenspace; you can find me here. We'll see if it ends up being any more useful (or used) than my Witchvox listing. I think probably not, but it's worth a shot.

// Juni

Mental fog.

I appear to have hit a bit of a block, lately. Every time my mind settles down to think about anything spiritual for longer than five minutes, my brain goes and dribbles out my ears. I'm not sure why.

I've tried to remedy it with a bit of meditation, but as usual, my attention span is too short. I can quietly meditate for about five minutes- if I do moving meditation, about 10- but then my monkey-mind gets hopping and it never settles back down. I'm too prone to daydreaming, anyway. I'm not sure what else to do except leave it alone for a little bit.

It's infuriating, too, because there's a number of interesting conversations at two forums I frequent (TC & OC), and I hate having a thought and watch it slip between my fingers.

Sigh.

// Juni

Another month later...

A trend seems to be developing. On the one hand, I feel a little bad for neglecting this blog, but on the other- well, honestly, who reads this besides me? And I'm not even reading it, per se, I'm just babbling into an appropriate outlet and then wandering off again. Still, I generally feel better when I've been journaling regularly- gets all of the random, rambling thoughts into something that resembles coherency, and then I can actually start to deal with them.

That being said- I've been thinking about the nature of Divine relationships a lot lately; it seems to be popping up a lot. Most recently, at TC, where a member was feeling like they should be entering into some sort of relationship with an Mhorrígan, a deity I am dedicated to. As I typed up my short post, I realized how uncomfortable I get talking about my UPG- especially when related to deity interaction. I'm really not sure why, which is irritating. I'm going to think on that some more.

But anyway; I was pondering divine relationships, and my personal relationships with various deities. Danu seems content that I think of Her when I get my feet wet, and that I honor Her name in prayer; Het-hert and an Dhagda seem content that I wear jewelry for Them everyday, for neither have asked any more from me. Lugh...I know He is one of the three that I *belong* to, if that makes any sense...but He's the only one of those three who hasn't asked anything of me yet. I can feel His guidance, but other than that, He's pretty quiet with me. Caer seems amused that I honor Her such as I do, but She, with Aengus (who seems equally amused, honestly) reminds me to be true to myself in matters of love and relationships, and I can feel Their displeasure when I start lying to myself. Brighid and an Mhorrígan are the other two whom I *belong* to, and They are the ones whom I feel the presence of the most- Brighid, in that She pushes me to be creative in every aspect of my life, and an Mhorrígan, in the sheer chaos that sometimes engulfs me- and the strength I am forced to nurture so I make it out in one piece. I feel like I was going somewhere with all this, but apparently I've lost the map. Oh well.

I need to borrow the boyfriend's camera so I can take pictures of my new shrine; it's turned out very well, I think. It's not quite done- is anything ever done with me?- but it's looking good thus far. I am pleased, and I think They are too. They'll be more pleased when I get off my ass and actually practice more. That would be good.

That, though, I will save for another entry, as my wrist is hurting and my mind feels fogged. With any luck, it won't be another month before my next entry!

// Juni

A month!

I can't believe it's been a month since I posted here. *bad Juni*

In any case. I finished my prayer beads (two sets, actually). The set I wear everyday is this one: edit: the picture is too big, so I'm just putting in the link instead of the whole image.

Click me!

I need to replace the two white-ish discs with flat wooden beads at some point, because the symbols I put on them won't stay on the discs. Oh well.

I also have the prayers written for them, but I haven't translated them just yet. The Altú is written (not entirely translated either, yet) as well.

I've decided not to write prayers to go with my jewelry- I say my own improvised little prayers each time I put them on, and it seems to work well enough.

So, what does that leave me with to get done for my personal practice, outside of Conair an Cheo? Not much, I don't think. I'm planning out the next incarnation of my shrine- it desperately needs a new home, and some rearranging so that it all makes sense. I need to get some shelves first though. And clear off some space on my wall.

Things are going well, though, and since I made a coherent list of things I need to do for Conair an Cheo, all has been progressing much better. Onwards to do more!

// Juni

Prayer Beads & Such

Last post I mentioned that I wanted to write prayers for when I wake and before I go to sleep. Well, I've finally figured out the arrangement of my prayer beads, so once I write the prayers to go with that, I can say that instead of rising/sleeping ones. I ordered the beads for part of the set, and they've come in- they're beautiful African Lava rock, about 11-12mm, and I can't wait to go out and get the rest of the beads I need so I can string them up and use them. I still have to write the prayers, though.

I cleared off my shrine and redid it, and it looks a lot better. Not my ideal shrine, but it does the job. I'd like to have something that looks more like the one at the very bottom of this page. I don't like cluttered shrines.

So, my to do list seems to be:
     -write prayers to accompany religious jewelry
     -write prayers to accompany prayer beads
     -complete prayer beads
     -write Altú ritual

I think part of the reason I keep quietly putting off writing prayers and such is that I suck at anything poetry like. Le sigh.

Daily Practices

I have a whole really long list of things I need to work; I guess I need to start with what is most needed right now. My daily practices.

First, I need to clear off my shrine of all the extra random stuff that has made its way up there. I want it much simpler. Of course, I'm planning individual shrines for each of my "patron" deities, but it'll be a bit before those are made and ready. I need to make a closing shrine/box/thingy for Buddha, as well, because he glows and I hate putting a piece of laundry over him.

I'd like to eventually incorporate some sort of little fountain into my shrine- actually, I still have that little one that Laurie and Beki bought me for Christmas, so I can fix it and put it up there. I need to buy candles, too.

Back to daily practices- really, all I want to do is write some prayers to say when I put on and take off my dedicated jewelry, and something to say when I rise and when I sleep. Well, I sort of have a prayer for when I rise, but I don't like it much. Another thing is that eventually I'd like all prayers and ritual work in Irish Gaelic. As I am way way far from fluent, that'll be a ways down the road (unless I hire someone to translate, or post sporadically on the various translation forums/groups that I know of). I think the hardest part is coming up with something simple but meaningful; gods know I won't do something too complicated. (There's a reason I'm folky and not ceremonial.)

I think once I've figured out a solid, workable daily practice I can start writing the Altú. But first: onwards to the prayers.

Introducing Juni

I'm going to cheat, and steal the intro I wrote for my other religious blog, Conair an Cheo: Path of Mist.

I've never been particularly good at describing myself, but I figure knowing a bit about me might be useful for anyone wandering through this blog.

I have several names; in the pagan community (which this site is aimed at (sort of) and part of (ish)) I'm mostly known as Juni, which is short for Juniper, which is half of Juniper Deirndeithe. You can call me any of the above, or by my real name Katrina (or Kat).

I am a hard polytheist that honors the pre-Christian Irish deities in a modern way; some would call me eclectic, but only because I don't belong to any existing path. I'm working on that.

One thing that I feel I should mention is that I'm not setting out to be seen as a guru or leader or whatever funny name someone would give me. My path (Conair an Cheo) began as a way for me to organize my "eclectic" tendencies into something workable. After some consideration, I decided that I would share it, in case someone wandering like me could find some use in it. I don't know everything about anything, not even this path. I am not much of a scholar, and make use of my UPG (unverified personal gnosis) widely. (Of course, I always label my UPG as such- no "ancient wisdom that cannot be cited" here.)

So, this is me. Take it or leave it.

// Juni